Oh, His Faithfulness

This blog isn't really about South Asia, but it's something that has been on my heart. Lately I have been reminded of all that has happened throughout my life, and how the Lord has so mercifully and faithfully brought me to the place I am now, and how He continues to move me forward and lovingly sanctify me. I'm also reminded of how much I think my parents have had to do with that. If any of you know my parents, you know how blessed I am. They raised this stubborn, rebellious, deceitful, know-it-all daughter, with as much patience, love, and grace as any human could possibly have. I know they are not perfect, but I just could not have asked for a better example as loving, God fearing parents, and I think my siblings would whole heartedly agree with me on this. Many of you may know, and many of you may not know, how incredibly rebellious and far away from the Lord I was just a few years ago. Either way, let me be the first to tell you that I put my parents through WAY more than I would ever like to admit. I spent pretty much all of my high school years living a double life. I went to church because I was supposed to, and because I thought of my church as family, but it was a social event, if anything. I had "church camp moments" and times of conviction, but the life I lived on a daily basis, away from the eyes of my parents or other respected adults who knew me was lived very differently than the girl on the church pew would make it seem. I was the prodigal child, and not a bit less, although I was pretty good at pretending to be the sweet, innocent Christian girl when I wanted to. My heart was stone cold, and I was filled with deceit, hatred, and pride. I'm pretty sure there were times where my parents truly didn't know if I was ever going to come back to the Lord. But I'm also positive that there wasn't a time they ceased to pray for me to do just that. For God to open my eyes and melt my icy heart, as I continually broke theirs. Then I came to a point where I slowly started listening to the voice of the Lord. He brought me to my knees and drew me to himself. He answered my parents prayers. I'm not saying that He has fulfilled every desire and prayer they have for my life, He is definitely not done with me, but He so faithfully replaced my heart of stone with a beating heart of flesh. He replaced all the lies from the Devil that I was believing, and reminded me of His truth and His word. He changed my life. As much as I've always been taught about the Lord and what He's done for me, it took Him moving that knowledge in my head to my heart. And He redeemed this sinful child. I can remember when I was little having such pure desires for the Lord. I can vividly remember a time when Trisha came back from her journeyman term in China, and was sharing with us at Bible school about her experiences and thinking, "I want to be an 'm'." And how as long as I can remember I've had a desire to work with hurting children, except that one time I wanted to be an interior designer.... I blame my mother and HGTV for that one. But then, I remember when I was in that desert land, and I had desires that were anything but pure. I can't imagine how my parents felt knowing that my innocents and purity of heart were slipping away from me. Yet they prayed, and they prayed, and they prayed even more. They don't even have to tell me how much they prayed for me, for me to know that they did. It was just so evident. They loved me when I was very hard to love, and when I accused them of doing just the opposite. And I mean, VERY hard to love. So thank you, Mom and Dad, for loving me enough to pray for me when it looked like I was a lost cause. Thank you for being a marriage that I can look to and know that your love for each other and for your children stems from your love of the Lord. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for praying. And thank the Lord for being so faithful and good. Thank you Jesus for drawing your rebellious daughter back to yourself.